


What if Jesus Were an Avenger?

by pinkhairnoshoes



Series: Riding in Cars with Captain America [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adopted Peter Parker, Don't Judge Me, Fluff and Humor, Funny, I Don't Even Know, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Parent-Child Relationship, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Pinching, Protective Steve Rogers, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Teen Peter Parker, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 23:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkhairnoshoes/pseuds/pinkhairnoshoes
Summary: This is my little series about Steve Rogers picking up his two adoptive children up from school each day. Together with Tony Stark he's adopted Peter Parker and my original character Beverly. The two children like to ask FRIDAY or their Pops strange questions on the ride home. It usually ends up with Steve being upset and scolding them. They're just little short drabbles.In this one Peter and Beverly ask their Pops about Jesus joining the Avengers.





	What if Jesus Were an Avenger?

**Author's Note:**

> This contains inappropriate humor and is probably offensive.
> 
> I have an OC I want to include in this but I haven’t introduced her in anything yet. I wanted someone for Peter to annoy Steve with. I imagine Steve picking them up from school or other activities. She’s Peter’s younger sister but they are only like a year apart. I also wanted to give Steve a daughter. I don’t buy the Captain America as a virgin thing. I feel like he did eventually date some woman at Shield that Nat set him up with. Steve breaks up with her after discovering he’s gay. He ends up with Tony shortly afterwards. She find out she’s pregnant. She decides not to tell Steve. Some things happen and he ends up adopting Beverly.

“Can we please listen to music? The news is so boring,” Beverly whined from the backseat.

Steve turns the radio to a Jazz station.

“Ew…not this. Real music. Please,” Peter begs.

The two teenagers whine in the backseat about the radio choice until Steve has enough.

“If you don’t stop—” he pauses to make sure he has the kids attention. “—I’ll put on catholic radio.”

“Not Jesus! Tony said we didn’t have to,” Beverly complains.

“Dude! You know what would be cool?” Peter exclaims

“What?” Beverly asks.

“What if Jesus joined the Avengers?”

“I think he would join the Justice League,” Beverly interjects.

“What? But those are movies. How will he join something that isn’t real?”

“Maybe the Avengers aren’t real?”

“Who’s driving the car then?” Peter asks. “Jesus take the wheel!”

“Can you two stop?” Steve asks.

“Would you let Jesus join the Avengers?” Peter asks.

“I—Pete. I—I don’t think Jesus has time for things like that.”

“Yeah. He’s too busy being a zombie.”

“Beverly! Absolutely not! Do not say that!”

“Why not? He rose from the dead? That’s what zombies do.”

“No Bev. This isn’t funny. I don’t want to hear you speaking like that.”

Peter tries and fails to stop himself from laughing.

“Fine,” Beverly says annoyed but Peter’s laughter is contagious and she can’t stop herself from a fit of giggles.

Steve shakes his head as he looks at them in the rear-view mirror. “Quiet please. I want to listen to this,” he says as he turns up the radio.

The silence lasts about five minutes before Peter whispers, “zombie Jesus,” and Beverly starts laughing.


End file.
